Flight of The Stairs

Music and comedy group Flight of the Concords, best known for their hilarious HBO show a few years ago had re-united to tour the UK. The tour has been delayed "Unfortunately I’ve broken two bones in my hand today in a very rock’n’roll injury—falling down some stairs" said Bret in an Instagram post.

A David Bowie statue has been unveiled in an English city, hopefully every other city worldwide can catch up and finish their tributes soon.

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Best New Song: Crow Pt. 2

“Sleeping, wondering in her twilight half-awareness
Where her mother went
I know that you died”

— Mount Eerie

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Ten Things

“Because right now all you have is time, time, time
But someday that time will run out
That’s the only thing you can be absolutely certain about”

— Paul Baribeau

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Tomorrow

“But don’t bring tomorrow
Cause I already know
I’ll lose you”

— Daughter

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Hey Jude

“Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better”

— The Beatles

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It's Just One of Those Days

Honestly the news lately has seemed like Mad Libs have come to life and the news this week is no different. Front man for Limp Bizkit Fred Durst is directing a movie staring John Travolta, obviously with these two both at the peaks of their popularity this film is sure to be a smash.

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Best New Song: Your Dog

“Always talk to other people
Dart my eyes across the room”

— Soccer Mommy

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It's Raining Outside

“rent goes up
pay stays the same
and they wonder who to blame
when the honest man is getting high”

— Pedals On Our Pirate Ships

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Standing In The Cold

“But you had my soul
Standing in the cold
Trying to get back home
Frozen to the bone”

— Drenge

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Werewolf

“All through the night, until the light of day, and we are doomed to play”

— Cat Power

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Killer Music

Normally the rap side is where I detail artists committing crimes, but in France a CONVICTED murderer who killed his girlfriend ten years ago is headlining a festival and the festival has stood by it's decision. It just goes to show, before commiting a crime you should definitely be sure to be a rich white guy, it is going to help considerably.

I decided to include a track from the new rearranged version of Sorority Noise's Grahammy Winning album that was just released along with the news that the band will be going on hiatus after this summer's tour. 

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Best New Song: No Halo (Acoustic)

“I’m placing bets against myself
And honestly I’m a mess”

— Sorority Noise

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Afterglow

“When you get that feeling from your head to toe, I just want to be with you so that you know”

— Pet Fangs

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Nobody Gets What They Want Anymore

“What am I going to do when I can see that you’ve been crying
And you don’t want no help from me?”

— Marlon Williams

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If Winter Ends

“And so I drink to stay warm,
and to kill selected memories”

— Bright Eyes

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I'm a Weirdo

Not to make every week about Thom Yorke but I said if he ever started acting like Kanye I would keep you posted and he has been doing exactly that; he's been tweeting weird stuff lately that has some people speculating he may be coming out with a new solo album. Although the most likely scenario is that he is tweeting weird stuff because he is a weird guy. 

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Best New Song: Mr. Tillman

“Is there someone we can call?
Perhaps you shouldn’t drink alone”

— Father John Misty

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Pray For Newtown

“So when your birthday comes and you’re feeling pretty good
Baking cakes and opening gifts and stuffing your mouth with food
Take a moment for the children who lost their lives
Think of their families and how they mourn and cry”

— Sun Kil Moon

I wanted to include this song a few weeks ago when there was a school shooting, but I thought, no, there will be another bigger one soon. I wish I wasn't right.... I strongly recommend giving this song a listen in the wake of recent events.

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Waiting For The World To Change

“Now we see everything that’s going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don’t have the means
To rise above and beat it”

— John Mayer

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People

“And people are people regardless of skin
And people are people regardless of creed
People are people regardless of gender
People are people regardless of anything”

— AJJ

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Everything in its Right Place

Thome Yorke of Radiohead will be integrated into a new 360-degree audiovisual installation in Berlin. I honestly can't think of a more Thome Yorke thing for him to be doing, it truly is everything in its right place.

Unfortunately I feel like the news section for Alternative is going to devolve into a depressing announcement of reunion tours, overdoses, and realizing your favorite albums came out 20 years ago and that partying for two decades has left the band looking like they had to be reanimated from the dead for the reunion.  In that vein, Smashing Pumpkins has announced a reunion tour with three quarters of the original members including the driving force of the band Billy Corgan. Corgan was known in the early 2000's for being a talented asshole and more recently for being on conspiracy theory nutjob Alex Jones' show and saying insane things online. This tour promises to have the behind the scenes drama of Fleetwood Mac and hopefully part of this money-grab includes a behind the music documentary. 

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Best New Song: Don't Move Back to LA

“You say I lost my soul or sold it out
But I told you, I want you
I told you, I want you
I told you now”

— Okkervil River

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Keep Yourself Warm

“It takes more than fucking someone
you don’t know to keep warm”

— Frightened Rabbit

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The Past is a Grotesque Animal

“It’s so embarrassing to need someone like I do you
How can I explain?”

— Of Montreal

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Heavy in Your Arms

“I was a heavy heart to carry
My feet dragged across ground
And he took me to the river
Where he slowly let me drown”

— Florence + The Machine

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Quincy Groans

In possibly the most candid interview's ever legendary record producer Quincy Jones (best known for his work with Michael Jackson) has been scorching everyone he's ever met with his harsh brand of honesty. He said that Michael Jackson used to steal songs and rip off the people who helped create them. 

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Best New Song: Blood Knows

“Just hold your breath
Just hold my waist”

— Rhye

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Waiting Around to Die

“Lots of booze and lots of ramblin’
It’s easier than just waitin’ around to die”

— Townes Van Zandt

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Boys Will Be Boys

“Would ya blame your little sister
If she cried to you for help?”

— Stella Donnelly

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Drunk Drivers (Killer Whales)

“Here’s that voice in your head
Giving you shit again
But you know he loves you
And he doesn’t mean to cause you pain”

— Car Seat Headrest

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Lana Del Cray

Hopefully everyone enjoyed The Grahammy's which had just the perfect amount of awards go to Bruno Mars. Going forward I'll try to keep it a little less self-righteous and a little more sarcastic as I am pretty sure nobody cares what I liked best from last year in music (Cigarettes After Sex) or otherwise (mezcal tequila). Putting "Cigarettes after Sex" in both spots in parenthesis there would have been a better joke but I'm honest to a fault. 

This week some lunatic stalker tried to kidnap singer Lana Del Rey and showed up to one of her concerts with a knife, luckily local police were able to prevent an attack. The stalker posted on Facebook that "I heard you call me through all your songs I heard it... so we can have our son". Really scary that delusion people like this think they are destined to be with celebrities. I mean how crazy is this guy that he can't see that Lana and I are meant to be together, so it would obviously never work between them?

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Best New Song: Get Out

“Good intentions never good enough”

— CHVRCHES

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Album of the year

“And I know she loved me then
I swear to god she did
It’s the way she’d bite my lower lip
And push her hips against my hips
And dig her nails so deep into my skin”

— The Good Life

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Hollywood

“I was looking forward to see where I was going
But I don’t know if I can make it, no, I don’t know if I could”

— Tobais Jesso Jr.

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For the captain

“All that is your beauty
All and all that is your treasure
I could smell your skin beside me
Say I hope I am here forever”

— Okkervil River

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The 2nd Annual Grahammy Awards!

It is finally the time of year for the biggest awards in music The Grahammy's! This week the winners will are crowned and those receiving awards can have their careers changed forever. Many of these artists see this award as their assent to the top of their field. 

And the awards go to...

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Best Cover

James Blake - Vincent

This heartbreaking song as redone by James Blake is incredible. Lacking the usual adjustments to the audio that typically accompany James Blake songs this really showcases his talent as a more traditional performer rather than the niche he has carved out for himself. 

“But I could’ve told you, Vincent
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you”

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Most Surprising Song

Kesha - Bastards

Kesha has dropped the "$" from her name (sadly) and is releasing a totally different direction of music than what she is known for. Clearly unafraid and eager to be known for more than her club tracks, this song really shows her range and the new direction of her music. 

“Don’t let the bastards get you down, oh no
Don’t let the assholes wear you out”

— Kesha

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Best Songwriting

Father John Misty - Pure Comedy

There were many strong contenders for this award this year, but the song that fit best with the year itself was this one. It takes on the absurdity of life for humans as we move past the struggles of animals and create new struggles for ourselves. Creating ideologies and goverments to seperate us and make us less free. 

“The only thing that seems to make them feel alive
Is the struggle to survive
But the only thing that they request
Is something to numb the pain with
Until there’s nothing human left”

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Best Track

Lorde - Liability

This track is the centerpiece of a beautiful album that is easily one of the most memorable of the year. It's powerful lines resting largerly on the strength of her voice convey emotion that matches perfectly with the lyrics. 

“The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy
’Til all of the tricks don’t work anymore
And then they are bored of me”

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Album of the Year

Cigarettes After Sex - Self Titled

I'm pretty confident that this will be the only place you see this album listed as the best of the year. I am fine with that, as I am biased by the face that I love every single note in this album and have probably listened to it over 100 times since it was released in June. It is absolutely perfect and I cannot recommend it enough for times when you want to lower the lights and listen to music to relax.

“I know that you say I get mean when I’m drinking
But then again sometimes I get really sweet
So what does it mean if I tell you to go fuck yourself
Or if I say that you’re beautiful to me”

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Grahammy Nominees for Album of the Year

It is finally the time of year for the biggest awards in music The Grahammy's! This week nominees for Album of the Year are announced with the winner chosen next week in addition to the winners for other categories as well. Take a listen to these great albums and maybe your favorite will be chosen for Album of The Year.

I've complied the best track from each of the nominated albums into a playlist, as well as the entire album for each band. These albums were chosen for the quality of the entire album from beginning to end so I highly recommend listening to the entire album if you enjoy any of the tracks in the playlist below.  Also remember to hit the Subscribe button above if you haven't already to get an email reminder when the winner is announced next week!

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Brand New - Science Fiction

Best Track - Desert

This long awaited album the band's first since 2009 definitely delivered. It brought back the heavy tones and angst the band is known for without while still managing to be a distinct and evolved piece of their catalog. 

“Could never be heaven without you”

— Could Never Be Heaven

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Lorde - Melodrama

Best Track - Liability

This album really shows an evolution and development from Lorde's previous albums. The theme throughout the album inspired by the breakup with her longtime boyfriend. The album has a heavy sense of solitude that carries with both the melodies and lyrics. It explores feelings of lonliness that can be felt even while with company.

“But my hips have missed your hips
So, let’s get to know the kicks
Will you sway with me?
Go astray with me?”

— Sober

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Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked at Me

Best Track - Real Death

This album is definitely not for someone who is trying to have their music cheer them up. Written about the slow death of his wife from cancer and his attempts to raise their child on his own and move on is absolutely heartbreaking. The amount of empathy this album evokes and its ability to transform your day really showcases the impact can have on a person.

“You were thinking ahead to a future you must have known deep down would not include you”

— Real Death

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Cigarettes After Sex - self titled

Best Track - Apocalypse

Don't let the less than exciting album cover fool you, this album is absolutely worth your time. The sultry tones and relaxing tempo are great whether you are reading a book or closing your eyes to listen intently. At the same time the fun and catchy lyrics can be perfect for singing along in the car.

“It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me
Though we don’t need to say it to each other, sweet
Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair
It’s so sweet”

— Sweet

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Dude York - Sincerely

Best Track - Twin Moons

Definitely one of the most fun albums of the year with each song having a special punch to it. The upbeat edge that the album has will put you in a great mood to take on the day. I also am lucky enough to confirm that this band is even better live as they amplify the fun of the album with humor and antics on stage. 

“Like I can hardly wait for my heartbreak
Yeah, I just keep on acting like he won’t ever find out
Like he don’t already know”

— Love Is

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Portugal. The Man - Woodstock

Best Track - Feel it still

This is one band where you have no idea whatsoever what to expect from each new album. Each album stands alone as its own art piece with unique flavor and style. This album is no exception as it brings the quality and suprise that you have come to expect from this band. 

“Livin’ life like we’re the only ones that know we’re famous”

— Rich Friends

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Sorority Noise - You're Not As _____ As You Think

Best Track - A Portrait Of

This Emo album really has a sense of purpose to it, each song has it's own perspective. Each track builds into a narrative as it examines the relationships between people and the effect they have on each other. Many of the songs delve into how a person can help another with their attention and affection or hurt them with their neglect.  

“You said, ‘I’m sorry, why do I feel so alone?’
I said, ‘I’m sorry, is there anything that I can do?’
You said, ‘Care about me like you used to.’”

— Car

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Happy MLK Day

It was revealed this week that David Bowie suffered a minor heart attack in 2004 which lead to him taking a break from touring as well as a long break from music. He would only produce two more albums after that point with his final album being released two days before his death from cancer in 2016. 

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Best New Song: We're going Home

“No second chances but all we can do is try”

— Vance Joy

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(No one knows me) Like The piano

“No one knows me like the piano in my mother’s home”

— Sampha

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Leather and Lace

“And sometimes I cry
But that time I saw you
I knew with you to light my nights
Somehow I’d get by”

— Stevie Nicks

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Easy

“I was born to love
And I intend to love you”

— Joanna Newsome

Joanna Newsome is married to Andy Samberg of SNL and Brooklyn 99, which is surprising because I can't think of any two types of music more disparate than harp music and "Dick in a Box". They recenently had a baby and it is anyone's guess as to what type of music that baby will make.

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Carreying into 2018

Well I joked last week about letting everyone know if Thom Yorke was ever involved in any drama, and now I am stuck relaying some drama this week. Radiohead's lawyers have sued Lana Del Rey over her song Get Free for being to similar to Radiohead's 1992 Classic Creep. Posted on Lana's Twitter account "Although I know my song wasn’t inspired by Creep, Radiohead feel it was and want 100% of the publishing - I offered up to 40 over the last few months but they will only accept 100.” I would guess this is a case of overzealous lawyers and may be dropped as soon as the band actually gets involved. The main similarities in the songs are the elongation of words into more syllables which does sound similar. If Radiohead is willing to sue over that though they reee-hehehehehe-heealllllyyyy should have gone after Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective in 94'.

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Best New Song: God save our young blood

“We can never stop movin’, we see nothin’ but the green lights”

— Børns & Lana Del Rey

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Man on the moon

“Now, Andy, did you hear about this one?
Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Hey, Andy, are you goofing on Elvis?
Hey, baby, are we losing touch?”

— R.E.M.

This song is about Andy Kaufman, and the Movie Starring Jim Carrey is named after it. A recent Netflix documentary "Jim and Andy" about how Jim Carrey stayed in character as Andy is excellent. It was suppressed by the studio for over 20 years because the studio was worried if anyone saw the footage they would think Jim was an "asshole". He stayed in character on and off screen causing considerable stress and drama off set. I promise I will never reference Jim Carrey in the same week multiple times again unless absolutely necessary (or if I feel like it).

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Affection

“I know that you say I get mean when I’m drinking
But then again sometimes I get really sweet”

— Cigarettes After Sex

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Desert

“Don’t come running to me
When they’re coming for you”

— Brand New

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The Beginning of Your Weekly Music Recommendations

Welcome to the first week of the non-rap version of this newsletter/site. I will do my best to take the parts that people appreciated most from the rap version and use them here but the format will naturally be different. I know people appreciated the fun facts and humor in the rap section and I will do my best to provide heavy sarcasm here as well. Unfortunately, people like Thom Yorke of Radiohead provide significantly fewer antics and opportunities for mockery than Kanye West. I promise to notify you if Thom Yorke announces he is running for President in 2020, gets in a feud with Taylor Swift, or claims the Government administered AIDS.

I hope you like this format, I will update it every Monday, please share with your friends and enemies and take a listen and subscribe below.

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Best New Song: Tonya Harding

“Are you lonely at night?
Do you miss all the glory
And the mythical story
Of the Olympian life?”

— Sufjan Stevens

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Your Best American Girl

“Your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me
But I do, I think I do”

— Mitski

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I Wanna Rock Out In My Dreams

“The older I get, the more articulate I am at whining”

— AJJ

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Avalanche

“The crumbs of love that you offer me
They’re the crumbs I’ve left behind”

— Leonard Cohen

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